[no real context.]

brosie: i like free hiv/hep c tests
aaron: …
brosie: ok that sounds really bad

[context: while talking about the obession of St Louis with the Cardinals.]

brosie: maybe i should start watching baseball.
aaron: yea… St Louis is really crazy about the Cardinals.
brosie: baseball guys are alright. swimmers and tennis players are way hotter, but baseball guys are alright.
aaron: [pause] you watch sports for an entirely different reason than the rest of us, don’t you?

for all you hygiene freaks out there, this post is for you. here is an article that i ran across a while ago with the most comprehensive information on the lost art of shaving. ironic that im posting this before brosie.
—

Ever since prehistoric man first scraped a seashell across his cheek so prehistoric woman would let him dance cheek-to-cheek, shaving has been a part of the male experience. But even with today’s high-tech razors, lots of men still get nicks, cuts, and razor burn. Today’s Tech Editor Corey Greenberg is here with the latest trend in male grooming that promises a better shave by going back to the old school.

Read more…

brosie: so im looking online to buy speedos for miami instead of studying.
aaron: umm why are you buying speedos?
brosie: for miami!
aaron: … so why are you buying speedos?

a little later…

brosie: wow! that’s hot!!

brosie: hey is docosanol the topical drug for HSV?
aaron: ummm yea i think so. why?
brosie: haha that’s funny. they have an ad in this magazine.
aaron: do i need to bother asking what kind of magazine that is?
brosie: [silence]
aaron: i hope they don’t have any pictures…

brosie: do you think those people behind you are gonna eat that soup and salad?
aaron: huh?
brosie: look! it’s just sitting there! no one’s gonna eat it.
aaron: first eating things out of the trashcan and now other people’s leftovers?
brosie: it’s food!

aaron: ok i just encountered the most disturbing qbank question ever
brosie: HAHA
aaron: a 7 yr left handed boy … upon exam, …finds bruises in different stages of healing, all over the childs body. … notes cigarette burns on his left arm and bruises on his scrotum. … mother says he is very clumsy, falls all the time, burns himself with cigarrettes, and masturbates all the time.
brosie: LOL
brosie: i saw that one
brosie: i like the masturbate part
brosie: that’s funny
brosie: i mean NOT funny

brosie: i don’t get it, why is grade important? it says under gyn cytology that it’s not.
aaron: why are u looking at the cervical section?
brosie: huh?
aaron: its endometrial adenocarcinoma.
brosie: oh!! the endometrium! sorry, i get all the female anatomy mixed up.
aaron: it’s cuz your gay.

brosie: it must be really weird to have a hole in the middle of your crotch.
aaron: huh? wait you mean girls in general?
brosie: yea! don’t you think so?
aaron: [silence]

so yesterday, brosie dropped a lot of money and got a brand new spanking car. later that day, he was pulled over while driving under the influence, without car insurance, and speeding.

ahh the recklessness of the youth.

[context: brosie reading Details]

brosie: did you know that one in three people routinely injure themselves while having sex?
aaron: huh? really?
brosie: yea… [pause]. pulled muscles … nope. bumps on the head from hitting the headboard… nope.
aaron: [panic] please stop.

apparently brosie has totally forgotten about bentstreet. how long do u think it will take for him to remember?

[context: i drive an ancient 1991 volvo 240 sedan that’s been very good to me. over time, it’s developed a long history of idiosyncrasies such as the door handle falling off one day and front passenger side speaker refusing to stay in place. one particularly annoying problem is the car radio which randomly decides to insert static whenever possible. lately ive been just traveling with the radio turned off and talking to brosie, but after a long road trip by myself, i’m considering finally replacing it.]

aaron: so yea, i think i might just get a new one.
brosie: yea you totally should! cuz then you can listen to your ipod through the car and we can finally listen to the radio without all that static and hear new songs!
aaron: [thoughtful pause] wait… maybe i don’t need one.
brosie: why’s that?
aaron: you’re pretty much my radio these days. the only problem is that i don’t have volume and power control.

[context: recently on bentstreet: brosie encounters free cookies at a free lab equipment demo. today: we come in for another long day of studying at our med school.]

brosie: look! a chocolate chip cookie! who would throw away a chocolate chip cookie still wrapped?
aaron: [sarcastically] you’re right. it’s a crime against humanity.
brosie: [not listening] mmm it tastes good.
aaron: did you just take a cookie out of the trash can?

[context: as we were walking back from the cafeteria, we run into reps from the lab equipment companies advertising their stuff to the grad school.]

brosie: [to aaron] look! cookies!!
aaron: [grunt]
[shuffle over to their table]
brosie: [to aaron, loudly] hey! look at this pipettor! isn’t it cool?
aaron: [confused grunt]
brosie: [to reps] can i have a cookie?

[context: this is evidence that you shouldn’t bicker with gays.]

jimmy: The police found a body with no brain, fucked up teeth and a retarded face. I was worried. Call me if you’re OK.
brosie: It’s your mom.

[studying sickle cell anemia and apparently one of the chronic organ damages can manifest as priapism]

brosie: oh look! priapism again… [pause] that’s so hot.
aaron: [silence]
brosie: oh good you didn’t hear me.

[last day before our infectious diseases final]

aaron: you get to do the HIV lecture.
brosie: [obviously thinking about something else] hantavirus… hantavirus… it keeps reminding me of hentai.
aaron: that’s going on bentstreet.

So I was a swimmer for most of my life until I went to college, and even while I was a swimmer I don’t think I saw so many guys dressed in Speedos as I have in ONE folder on brosie’s computer.

[scared]

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